I know all that but...

It has been days since I ceased to be myself and God only knows how many more days it is going to continue thus. Minutes, hours, and days pass by me as I remain standing, immobilized, disinterested and contemplative. I even got to use the "Thinking Point" on campus which I used to mock at for its absolute uselessness. For a change, I do not want to write about what is causing all this and despite this being one space where I have shared my deepest griefs and the most happening joys, this one time I simply can't...is it too personal...it may be but that's not the reason...I am simply tired of the things occupying my mind, soul and body and do not want the blog to suffer, too and give me something to remember these days by, in the future.

Anyways, it has been too much of cribbing...in fact, this blog is fast becoming a crib-log which I don't want it to become...it should be just a rendition of my life and experiences...probably it is just that...I am again deviating....so back to what happened last night. I called up one of my friends who is going to get married next month to congratulate her and put up an excuse for not turning up for her wedding. From one thing to another, I inadvertently shared a part of my mood (must have spoken something rude...I don't even know but the friend that she is, she caught up with it) with her and that was enough for her to try and cheer me up for the next half an hour and this is what she tried (of all things :-)) :

I think that you need a steady relationship
Yeah, I thought so, too till I heard that you are getting married to someone else
You know what, you are not a girlfriend material at all
You mean a boyfriend material
Both actually
urr...umm...come again

And then she explained what she meant by someone who is a girlfriend material
...must not be a diehard romantic (which is what she says I am)
...must not be possessive at all or conversely, must be acutely possessive (I fluctuate between the two, she says)
...must be consistent in his mannerisms towards the girl (As per her experience, I greet her one day and wax eloquent about her new ear rings and the other day, don't even look at her)

...must take the upper hand by wit or force or both (I am too gentle with girls, she says...oh yeah)
...must not use sarcasm-heavy humor with girls (which is what I invariably do)
...must do so many other things that I don't and must not do so many things that I do
...must not expect the girl to be constant in her behavior (I don't like girls getting their fancies, you know...that is what she says)

I had almost started to enjoy it when she dropped the bombshell as she explained why I am not a boyfriend material. The reasons, apart from a repeat of some of the ones above were:
...a hairline that has seen its better days
...greying hair brushed up with mehendi giving a technicolor look
...avuncular looks combined with quite a few extra pounds
...too sensitive and emotional to be relied upon by girls who want to have fun
...shy away from staring at the girl and look at her qualities instead, thus hurting her vanity (...oof, let the feminists hear of it, I say)
...try to be too helpful, burdening the girl with guilt and leave her wondering about the intentions
...too volatile with the mood swings to be of any use at all (I agree to this one wholeheartedly)

She said so many other things in that half an hour but I am not able to recollect all of them...tried to write whatever I could recall...but at the end of it, I was a bit more cheerful and actually able to get a good night's sleep after a long long time. I know that you are not reading this and perhaps shall never read it but all the same, thank you so much for being there for me...and of course, for giving me gyan on what a duffer I am... :-))