Stepping in...gradually

I am absolved of my guilt. Her scars have healed and she has moved on to another person, another life and am I relieved! The past used to keep on re-appearing and coaxing me for all the wrongs I had done and the effect those wrongs would have had on her. Now that she is happy with someone else, I am happy in her happiness...yes, I know it is a little (or more than a little) cliched but that is how I feel and I can't do much about the way I feel, can I?

The dynamics of relationships on campus have gone into the forming stages and people seem to have found their niches and more importantly, found others who fit in those niches. In some instances, the discovery is joyous and publicly acknowledged while in others, there still exist some hesistations and stumbling blocks. I am not necessarily talking about only romatically linked couples here but it is also to do with friendships (groups of two or more) that seem to have gone past the acquaintance stages and survived the onslaught of mistrust and apprehensions.

As our batch tries to find its identity, the Batch of 2005 is all set to mark the exit scene. In fact, some of them have already left, some to be back for the convocation one last time and others not to return, not ever. One of the first ever freshers-dominated batches in the short history of IIMK, this batch has had many firsts to its name and then a few more. They have achieved a lot in their two years here and are leaving behind shoes that might as well turn out to be too big for our feet. Whether it be the multitude of competitions across B-schools through which they have got IIMK on the map (right from University Challenge Finals to inter-IIM Case Winners) or it be the excellent initiatives in terms of various seminars and industry interaction activities, these people have really been pioneers.

I still remember the first night when I met some of my seniors in the Chennai Alumni-Freshers meet. Hearing them talk about the entreprenuerial nature of the institute, I was skeptical but having seen what this batch has been able to do with the institute, I am sure that the batches to follow will have a hard time keeping up.

It is in deed too much

This was probably one of the roughest and deepest of lean patches that I have gone through (just have a look at my photo on Aditya's blog to guess my state of affairs)...second only to the BIG one that had its effect this time around, too (as always)...but that is another story and a long one at that. If someone had told me a few days back (as people did) that things are bound to get better, I might not have believed them and just silently laughed them away. Given what else happened consecutively, I might have been right for all that the other person knew. Today, however, with most of the factors responsible for my dumping myself into the dumps (partially voluntarily and partially involuntarily) doing an about turn, I can only thank God for all the mercy that He has shown to me and my dear ones. I just hope that He forgives me for doubting Him when He was busy doing the best for me.

What I did learn from this patch was not how I can mitigate the effect of such patches on myself (I remain the binary one...she will at least smile if she reads this, I know). I learnt, however, that I have quite a lot of friends...quite a lot of people who stand by me...some say it in words, some say it with actions. I am sure that some of these people are reading this and for once (not once too often, I hope though), I want to use this blog as a communicating agent. I shall be doing you grave injustice if I name you or hint to your concern for me in any way, but all I want to say is that all of you know that I am talking about you and that I am really humbled by your care and concern for me and that I appreciate the whole of it and want to appreciate it by saying it loud and clear for each one of the small things that you people did...asking me about my problems...cheering me up even if you were down...trying to take me away from my little world of worries.

As for the other things, there have been quite a lot of them happening on campus. There are some things that I should not be talking about and some that I should be. I wonder how true can I be to this blog after this but any future posts on this blog concerning real people and places shall be as objective as possible...plain facts and no opinions. As for my take on things, it will be more introspective and more factual...so all those looking for masala can find alternative sources :-)

The other BIG thing that happened was that I got selected for the International Student Exchange Program of IIMK and I shall be going to ESCP-EAP, Paris for Term 5. It does sound like a big thing but given the number of applicants for it, it is not really an achievement but more of an opportunity. I am still wondering about the validity of my decision about the opportunity part, as well. As I had also mentioned in my Statement of Purpose submitted with the application, I do want to see how these people outside teach and conduct business, but all the same, I don't really know if it will be entirely possible to be done in a way that adds value to me as a person and as a professional. There are lateral placements to be considered, too that I will be missing...one of the reasons why not too many of our experience-rich batch applied for the program in the first place.

And then of course, there is our annual festival Backwaters, which for all the worthless contribution that I might be capable of, is likely to suffer for want of one member. We are planning something really good this time and I just hope that I shall be able to be a part of it in some way or the other.

I know all that but...

It has been days since I ceased to be myself and God only knows how many more days it is going to continue thus. Minutes, hours, and days pass by me as I remain standing, immobilized, disinterested and contemplative. I even got to use the "Thinking Point" on campus which I used to mock at for its absolute uselessness. For a change, I do not want to write about what is causing all this and despite this being one space where I have shared my deepest griefs and the most happening joys, this one time I simply can't...is it too personal...it may be but that's not the reason...I am simply tired of the things occupying my mind, soul and body and do not want the blog to suffer, too and give me something to remember these days by, in the future.

Anyways, it has been too much of cribbing...in fact, this blog is fast becoming a crib-log which I don't want it to become...it should be just a rendition of my life and experiences...probably it is just that...I am again deviating....so back to what happened last night. I called up one of my friends who is going to get married next month to congratulate her and put up an excuse for not turning up for her wedding. From one thing to another, I inadvertently shared a part of my mood (must have spoken something rude...I don't even know but the friend that she is, she caught up with it) with her and that was enough for her to try and cheer me up for the next half an hour and this is what she tried (of all things :-)) :

I think that you need a steady relationship
Yeah, I thought so, too till I heard that you are getting married to someone else
You know what, you are not a girlfriend material at all
You mean a boyfriend material
Both actually
urr...umm...come again

And then she explained what she meant by someone who is a girlfriend material
...must not be a diehard romantic (which is what she says I am)
...must not be possessive at all or conversely, must be acutely possessive (I fluctuate between the two, she says)
...must be consistent in his mannerisms towards the girl (As per her experience, I greet her one day and wax eloquent about her new ear rings and the other day, don't even look at her)

...must take the upper hand by wit or force or both (I am too gentle with girls, she says...oh yeah)
...must not use sarcasm-heavy humor with girls (which is what I invariably do)
...must do so many other things that I don't and must not do so many things that I do
...must not expect the girl to be constant in her behavior (I don't like girls getting their fancies, you know...that is what she says)

I had almost started to enjoy it when she dropped the bombshell as she explained why I am not a boyfriend material. The reasons, apart from a repeat of some of the ones above were:
...a hairline that has seen its better days
...greying hair brushed up with mehendi giving a technicolor look
...avuncular looks combined with quite a few extra pounds
...too sensitive and emotional to be relied upon by girls who want to have fun
...shy away from staring at the girl and look at her qualities instead, thus hurting her vanity (...oof, let the feminists hear of it, I say)
...try to be too helpful, burdening the girl with guilt and leave her wondering about the intentions
...too volatile with the mood swings to be of any use at all (I agree to this one wholeheartedly)

She said so many other things in that half an hour but I am not able to recollect all of them...tried to write whatever I could recall...but at the end of it, I was a bit more cheerful and actually able to get a good night's sleep after a long long time. I know that you are not reading this and perhaps shall never read it but all the same, thank you so much for being there for me...and of course, for giving me gyan on what a duffer I am... :-))

Eternal Adieu...I hope not

Farewell, my dear friends! since we now can ne'er meet;
If our songs have been languid, they surely are few:
Let us hope that the present at least will be sweet--
The present--which seals our eternal Adieu.
                                          (Farewell to the Muse, Lord Byron)




It is time for you to go, time for the end of a story and beginning of another. Your nerves dance and tingle not just at the thought of leaving behind this place and its memories but perhaps even more at thinking of what the future holds in store for you. Life moves on and so do people like you but wherever you go, you carry with yourselves and leave behind you some impressions which the sands of time shall take a long time to wipe away. The batch of 2005, fare thee well !

It was only a couple of days earlier that we were practicing for the group song and I was all enthused about putting up a great show for the farewell. Despite changes in my personal plans, I did not want the team to get affected...tried to talk them into going ahead with the song and dance by saying that I may not join the party and then turning up late...kiddish plans, I know but they worked probably...

And what an awesome performance it turned out to be...not technically of course, but it did set the mood for rest of the night. With the unending prelude music and people off the stage singing the song aloud even before that..and of course the initial commentary of "Papa Kehte Hain" adapted by Vikhyat, there could not have been a better beginning. And they took it places...lines forgotten but compensated for by sheer enthusiasm, people joining in the song in the middle (from both batches), the karaoke and the vocals playing hide and seek and yet everybody laughing along...infectious stuff, truly.

Chiranjeev and Sandipan were up next with their excellent rendition of "Puraani Jeans". Though the reverb was a little too high and the guitar volume a bit subdued, but who bothered. With the people already in the party mode, there was quite a bit of singing and clapping along as the duo went through the song and Sandipan handled the highs and lows of the melody with ease.

Vikhyat attempted something different as he came on the stage for the second time with a piece of paper in hand and feet firmly planted behind the podium. The stuff (whatever it was...I still do not have any clue) might have been good but he should have moved around and done something more phsically involving. The effort was good (I must convince him to do it some other time), though... :-)

The songs over, it was time for some dance now and the talent of Sandeep Gopal was up for display. I had been pestering him for a performance for long and he had promised me one, even if he had to do a solo one. He almost seemed to be living up to his promise as the dance routine started with a solo performance of Sandeep on some Mallu (I thought it was...not sure) song...quite free flowing and with some unconventional stage dance steps. To add a bit of convention, the next song had Kunal joining Sandeep for an English number where they did some of the more common steps. The variety was not over yet as Vikhyat came along (yet again) wearing a chunni and the three dancers did some fluid steps on a cool Euphoria song that must have entertained one and all.

After a few initial hiccups, Pawan did a great job with rendering "Ae nazneen suno na" and done without any instruments or music, it was doubly great. The best part of it was the ease and informal nature of the entire thing. With performances not mattering in the least and the spirit having caught on like wild fire, it was a free for all as the people (Rajat, Karan, Ankit, Rohit...and the rest) went up the stage a number of times, belting out numbers, talking stuff (some senti too) and above all, having fun.

In fact, the entire evening was a reinforcement of the fact that unrehearsed, unplanned things come out the best as far as the satisfaction quotient of the junta goes. Whatever we did do as part of culturals for the farewell could not have been done better, especially not if we had planned the entire thing and gone by any fixed ideas.

Soon it was all over. With the presentation in the beginning (the flash invitation that was prepared by Pranay and JC and sent out earlier to both the batches) making people nostalgic with some cool snaps set to some excellent music, the culturals made sure that the feeling did not die out, at least not for the night. The few speeches in between were decent, too...with Prof. Uday Damodaran addressing us for one of those last times, it was great to hear him talk about how he wishes his students to be non-MBAs and how he likes confused people as his students (he even named some of them from both the batches). XLRI is certainly going to be lucky to have him there.

The photo sessions were the theme for the next hour as a decent dinner (for a change, TAJ did well) was accompanied by a lot of hugging, forming of huddles and quite a bit of fun and laughter filling the hall. The dance started next and went on and on...with the bar in full service too, there was no reason for any one to stop...and they didn't stop till the wee hours of the morning...Kunal's multiple announcements of "This is the last song" would have helped, too :-)...finally, the last few of them had to be dragged on board the last bus.

And...umm...yeah...I drank after ages (almost six years if you discount the engineering college farewell) yesterday.

Love is all around

It is that time of the year again...two years since it happened and two years since I have been ruing it...did it really have to be like that...I don't know but then again that is life...you can't really hedge all the risks. Having operated almost always in the binary mode (all or none), I could not have done anything else, anyways.

Enough of that, actually! Instead of cribbing about what happened, I thought that I would try and look around at people enamored and engrossed in one completely different world that is unique in its own right, has its own definitions of right and wrong...of good and bad.

As the lazy morning sun makes its appearance outside the window and one ray of hope after another starts filtering in through the blinds of cynicism, cupid makes it appearance as that elusive rainbow in a clear sky. And then there is the heart that is overflowing with the nectar of feelings...all the nectar meant for the moth that drinks it all up as it has to dance around the light of its life. As the ray of hope touches this heart and warms the eyes to enable them to look at the rainbow, a sort of all pervasive and wistful calmness engulfs the nature and all its creatures.

The notes of the flute whisper into the ears and the soul and body are filled with that tune of melody which, despite not being so clearly etched in memory, is yet oft-remembered for its associations. And then comes the picture...the rainbow that the heart has been staring at transforms into the picture of one's love...the heart gives a sigh and a sudden rush of blood is all that tries to resist the numbness that falls all over the body like the melting wax that forms a pool around the candle.

There is no end to it...at least the heart does not want it to end...the picture is glowing as the cupid-rainbow smiles knowingly behind it, the flute is playing music at its crescendo, the light is just enough to enable vision and yet be only comfortably intense, and the moth is sucking the nectar in innocent glory.

Love is, in deed, a wonderful feeling and though it is present all the year long in those that open up their hearts to it, Valentine's Day is one occasion where the hearts grow fonder (if that is possible) and the feelings get converted to words, expressed in the most beautiful of ways.

No romantic worth his/her salt can look at this day with the eyes of a skeptic...it is one of those rare and unexplainable moments when logic takes a back seat and all that matters is small things...holding hands...doing something just for the sake of her/him...giving little nothings as gifts...candle light dinners...dances by the moonlight...looking at each other for hours on end...making her/him believe that she/he is the most beautiful person...singing her/him a song despite a sore throat...admiring her/his slightest mannerisms or possessions...living life with her/him as if there is no tomorrow...

Aaj naachenge saari raat...

It has all been happening in style...the string of parties at the hostels, each one with their own modus operandi, each one with their unique value to the outgoing batch of PGP at IIMK. Yes, it is time for them to go, the batch of 2005 at IIMK is ready to leave the campus after two enriching years of education (???), interactions, experiences and learnings (with an extra emphasis on the 'e'). For us juniors, it is time to throw them parties, parties that they are probably going to remember for a long time to come, that they are going to use to click snaps that will be the wallpaper of their machines for quite some days (months?).

Last night was the turn of the G hostel juniors to arrange for the party. With quite a substantial sum collected for the party (probably the biggest of all hostels), the food and drinks flowed without restraint and so did the masti. With the core of the BCA and the Dude group, both centered in the hostel, as also that of the emerging Gandh group, there was a lot of excitement built up before the party...what with status messages ruling the roost and people calling each others' parties names with gay abandon. There were plans to have the Big Fight too...between the BCA and the Dude group...conducted by the Gandh group...novel ideas, really.

What about the music...half an hour before the party was to start, Kashyap (the hostel rep and the party Kingpin) comes to me saying that I have to get the music arranged (what he meant was that I had to sacrifice my laptop and as I later came to know, my speakers and risk them against spirits, rain dances, washing machines, and what not :-)). As the party progressed and almost everyone started taking the DJing role up, I thought that I was ok and free but not for long. With the heads getting higher and lighter and the laptop virtually unattended, I had to don the garbs of the DJ (for the very first time in life).

Believe me, there is nothing else that is as irritating. With all sorts of people having all sorts of request and people getting senti over their songs not being played...even angry at my not having their favorite songs in my playlist, it was a tad difficult...but somehow I endured it all. The best part was when I was already sick of the music and the fundas that Neel and Aaditya were busy giving Mayank and Prashant in one corner of the hall,  but there were still a handful of dancers boogeying away with the music...what that translates into was that I could not leave till they had had their fill.

When we did finally wind up for the day at about 4:30 in the morning, it was still early by party standards for some and Madhok was all willing to dance some more but with no one for company, he saw the light and let me see the bed :-(.

All said and done and with all due cribbing about the DJing over, the party was good fun actually. I don't know how far the rest of the junior gang enjoyed it but with the enthusiastic snap sessions and the once-in-every-ten minutes hugging that was going on, I am sure that the seniors had a gala time (probably not as much due to the party as due to the occasion).

The highlight of course was Mayank stalking Richard like there was no tomorrow and insisting that he dance on 'Babuji zara dheere chalo" with a bottle of beer in his hand...do not know for certain but just got a feeling that Mayank had some ideas about what was to follow once Richard started the dancing (which he never really did, of course, apart from shaking a leg here and there) :-) 

sTrEAM BACKWATERS

There are so many things that one takes for granted in life and yet there are so many otheres that we do not wish to believe in despite the apparent authenticity of the same. In the initial stages, Backwaters for me was such an absolute farce that I had no hopes of long term associations or any other such freebie that one would normally associate with any sustained group effort of such proportions. Fortunately, I am now able to say that not only have I proved myself wrong over and over again, I have actually started forming a kind of strong (or what Reddy likes to call 'senti') bond with each one...ok, perhaps not each one, but the majority at least :-)... of sTrEAM BACKWATERS.

The upsTrEAM

Deepa "The Designer" Mohan



Right from the T-shirts to the banners to even the stage backdrop and the certificates, she was behind it all. After all, the NIFT training had to come good some day ;-). Deepa was amongst the quiet ones in the sTrEAM, but at the same time quietly effective. Not one to spare too many words...not even when she was angry (if ever), she used to listen us all out and in her subdued voice, berate someone (most often Vikhyat) for some mischief or the other. The fructification of the "reddy" idea, and of course the sTrEAM BACKWATERS t-shirts will always be memorable for the rest of us. With her soon-to-be hubby, Prashant visiting the insti during Backwaters, the event would certainly have been doubly joyous for her.

At a personal level, I had very little interaction with her right upto backwaters. It was only during the last few days that I actually got to speak to her and I must say that I found in her, a close resemblance to my project seniors at Infy, especially Gomathi and Ramya...she is just the same...from Chennai, the elder sister-esque attitude towards most of us, and of course a lot of fun to be with (most of the times, the fun would be at her expense).


Deepak "The Party" Chowdhry



This one belongs to the 'stud' group. Arguably one of the best dancers in the insti, having achieved quite a lot including a PPO from Asian Paints, and having really worked hard at the hospitality of Backwaters 2004, DC (as we know him) was the experience sharing guy this time. With names, addresses of the hostels, guest houses and numerous tips and tricks up his sleeve to get things done, he was a welcome participant at the Backwaters meetings (that is, whenever he could find time to come :-)).

On the personal front, once again I must say that I have not really formed a friendship with DC though I am sure that if I see him five years hence, I will say Hi to him (and hope that the vice-versa would also be true). In fact, for some reasons or the other, even before I came into Backwaters, I had expected him to be the person in charge and had actually looked up to him in the initial few days. However, with his interest waning (for whatever reasons), I was a bit skeptical about his involvement and the Backwaters in totality, as well.


Harman "The Mess" Sachdeva



Another one of the silent types (at least in relation to Backwaters), Harman wanted to do quite a lot for the fest but could not contribute as much because of his own reasons. He did take care of the proceedings from the Mess and in his own way, came up with substantial help by putting up signs, posters all over the place. Not really a party to the fun that we had in the sTrEAM, he played his part well as far the work was concerned.

Personally, I thought that I had decent relations with him till that (un)fortunate night when in Gaurav's room, he gave me a blasting about practices being followed in the Backwaters committee. With that being sorted out soon however, things have been back to normal right till the present moment. In fact, he did use to approach me for finding out ways in which he could contribute to Backwaters without really making himself conspicuous.


Gaurav "The Planner" Gollerkeri



Most easily the brain behind Backwaters 2004, Gaurav had all good intentions to steer Backwaters 2005 to a decent, if not great fortune. That he was doomed right in the beginning was apparent in his mails that smelt of his frustration for our inaction despite being garbed in the best and the most neutral of words. He did most of the co-ordination in the initial stages and was actually responsible for providing the building block for the junior committee to get and gel together. Though he missed the fest because he had to go to Delhi for the University Challenge Finals, he was there at the backstage throughout the planning and most of the execution.

My interaction with him dates back to the good old BT Acumen debate when we went to Bangalore as a team (he went for the quiz and I for the debate). As per my perceptions, I found him a hard worker, sort of revolutionary in thoughts but not as much in action, and overall a "nice guy". Inspite of the ISB debate being another frontier of interaction with GG (as most of us call him), I never really got close to him as I am sure not many would have. Either he is not that kind of a guy who believes in frivolous associations or perhaps I did not understand him.


Nireeksha "The Exclusive T-shirt" Reddy



She will probably be remembered the most for two things: the registration, first and second, the exclusive t-shirts of the sTrEAM BACKWATERS. She was the one who kept putting up this question in almost every other meeting...after everything else was discussed and under the table, of course. She took up registrations during the fest and really took it up once and for all. With her own support staff in Divya, Tity and later Rahul Gandhi, she did the toiler's as well as the delegator's jobs equally well.

As far as I am concerned, I did have a few misgivings for most part of pre-event happenings in relation to her. She may not have meant it but the impression that I used to get in the meetings when I heard her talk was that either the seniors were not interested in Backwaters at all or even if they were interested, they were not really interested in letting us be interested in the fest. The meetings that we 'came to know' of, the "Is there anything else you guys want to talk about?" questions, did put me off but not for long...for I did realize, though much later, how much Nireeksha was both committed about Backwaters as well as accommodating with respect to the six of us.


Rahul "The Food Stall" Gandhi



Apart from managing MotherJane and being absent for most part of the pre-event happenings, Rahul Gandhi did not have any real time to spare for Backwaters. With studies not being his priority either, he was out of town for most of the one month that was to make or break Backwaters. Not really the one to make his presence felt at the sTrEAM meetings, he was a minor player as far as Backwaters was concerned this year. His core speciality of getting rock groups to tour IIMK and give a handful of people a taste of the rock medicine did not help either, with him not being available for confirmation till the last minute. He did make his presence felt, however, by single-handedly causing the sky-rocketing of the sales of the food stall at Backwaters.

Apart from the rock show at the IT Seminar, I did not really have much interaction with Rahul though I have had the chance to hear a lot about him from a lot of people. Admittedly, he is capable of a lot which he proved during the well conducted rock show at the IT Seminar, but to make him work would have always been a very tough nut to crack.



The downsTrEAM

Malini "The Team Kits" Pande



Always ready with a free laugh and doubly free flowing with her words, Malini had one of those brighten-the-dull-proceedings effect on the sTrEAM. On the work distribution front, she took up the backend work on Team Registrations and though she was not really in the limelight for long, she put up a great show as far as ensuring the lack of any pitfalls was concerned. She came out as one of those who take up their assigned responsibilities with a pinch of salt and a lot of enthu which is what she finally did, and which is what made it possible for her to smile through the work.

One of the first regular visitors to my blog (got to know that from a few referring webpages being the mail in her inbox, that I had sent to the batch and which had my blog's link), we never really hit it off till quite recently and I am still not sure of her. What I did realize after this Backwaters was that though she is a bit too high on the light side and perhaps not suited to the hot and cold moods of mine that my friends have to bear, at the same time, she is one of those who I can chill in front of, without thinking much about what the other person would be thinking of...a cool girl who knows what she is talking about but does not let the other person think too much about the reasons for which she has been talking thus.


Nitai "The good-for-nothing" Utkarsh



Considering the late stage that I came into Backwaters and the absolute lack of energy that two years of work experience has drilled inside me, I was always destined to be this no-gooder who can talk a lot but do little. The worst part was that after having isloated myself from the proceedings initially, I tried my hand in almost everything soon after and came a cropper, as can be expected. Whether it be called seeking attention (as some of my critical friends call it) or typical Gemini violent mood swings (which my close friends know of), I did all that I should not have done and very little of what I should have. The most important reason probably was that I did not know where to draw the line between working for the event and working the event (perhaps the working can also be read as living).


Qaynat "The Play" Sharma

 

The producer (and not the director, please remember...and remember too that she can not be under estimated) of the now-so-famous play, Qaynat did her part in style. Even in her zombie state past 11 in the night, she managed to catch hold of the responsibility assigned to her and not only succeeded in getting on the nerves of all involved (by pestering them into being present for the play practice, for learning their lines and what not), but also made a spectacle of a play in association with JC, Pakow, Neeta, and all others. She was also one of the creative inputs of the team and with Deepa leading the way and Vikhyat and Reddy learning the tricks fast, she could also be counted upon for the a-ha effect inducing work.

Honestly speaking, I had this prejudice against her from the very start of the first term about her being a nakchadi...probably because I have seen most of the girls, who have even the barest minimum of decent looks and even the barest minimum number of guys following them, get their airs up (Qaynat has quite a bit of both, I believe). That she not only turned out to be different but that I can also manage to speak to her and tease her as a friend (even on the lines of Richa, Sweta, et al) now, speaks volumes of what prejudices hold you against. The only thing that she still lacks is maybe that 293 gms (as Ashwarya says) of grey colored matter :-)...jokes apart, a fun person to be with who is also a tad sentimental, has those mood swings, and conks off after 11 PM.


Sandeep "The Stalls" Reddy



With his wavy locks almost about to make the record books and his fiery temper likely to end up in the sets for any Hollywood potboiler, Sandeep Reddy (or just Reddy, as we call him...the new name Laali (Laal=Red) suits too, I think) was one of those rare balances of planning and doing during Backwaters 2005. Not one to raise his voice but also someone who would almost always be heard, he made sure that the committee members stood up for the responsibility that the voters' mandate had put upon them. The deadly toiling away irrespective of what way the others contributed...with an amazing conviction showed us all the way till the very end as he took up the stalls work during the fest, getting the stage erected and making sure that he gets to shake a leg on it, as well.

Not much of a personal interaction in the past here, as well...Reddy and I have been on good acquaintance terms before Backwaters and there was always the customary hello that passed between us whenever we met (typical of guys studying in the same batch in the same school). After Backwaters, though I can not really say that Reddy is one of my closest chums but all the same, I have come to understand that he is a person who goes deeper than many of us, carries a lot of things in his heart and mind without letting much show, but at the same time, he is capable of making people around him very comfortable, in deed...a serious guy with a mature outlook on life and a fun interpretation of it.


Saurabh "The CWRDM" Goswami



Right from being nervous about things being done at the last moment to eating away words when he was frustrated but never really letting it out loud, Saurabh has been a colleague's delight in the sTrEAM. Starting off from the sponsorships, as we all did, he was really particular about the CWRDM hostel and was almost about to get rooms booked there when we realized that we might not need them at all. Absent (while on duty, of course) for most of the first day and thus missing out on all the wonderful snaps that we took, Saurabh was another of those sane voices that do not have to be shouted to be heard. The grass root worker himself, he had a lot to offer to the sTrEAM in terms of his commitment to work really hard without expecting much appreciation, forget returns.

With too many Bengalis already having cluttered my friend list, there was every possibility that Saurabh would have ended up in the same list, as well. But with more than a dozen Bengalis in the batch, I hardly knew him before the Backwaters work really kicked off. Earlier as in the case of Qaynat, I had formed this impression about him being a cock-sure guy from some freaky background who has his way with words and who believes in style rather than substance. After Backwaters, I would perhaps count him as one of those with whom I can share a bad news (perhaps not a personal news...not yet)...a counselor who is a little too confused to follow his own counsel.


Vikhyat "The Financier" Srivastava



Easily the most important driving force behind Backwaters 2005, Vikhyat was there right from the beginning till the very end (whenever and if it is ever going to be). When all others had given up on the festival and almost moved out of the involvement in the event, it was Vikhyat who kept trying to keep the team together and more importantly, committed to the fest. Apart from Reddy, perhaps he was the only other person from the junior committee who really had a vision for this year's Backwaters. With promises of getting Yana Gupta and foreign participants for the fest, he did follow his convictions to the tee and actually went ahead with communications in the regard. During and after Backwaters, he has taken up the Fin Manager's role and performed it to perfection (the GE Consumer Finance summers must have certainly helped!).

Perhaps the only member of sTrEAM BACKWATERS I knew (and knew quite well, I think) before the event started, Vikhyat has been two doors next to me for about seven months now. Apart from the freshers' syndrome (taking every little thing too seriously) and the erstwhile spirited displays, there are hardly any other problems (aren't these enough???) with this guy. I have had quite a few fights with him on quite a few issues and non-issues, too but somehow we have always made up for it later. I am not sure but all this nonk-jhok must have created some friction that might remain for a long time to come but as for now, we are chums (or that is what I believe)...one of those guys who does not mind speaking his mind out loud but only when he can't get the message across earlier, by subtle hints or otherwise.



All things said and done, a great team that I had the fortune to be a part of and I am saying this not just for the sake of it but because it is a fact and that I really think that a team, with not even a single instance of even remotely major ego clashes over one whole month of frantic, frenzied activities spanning all hours of the day and night, must be appreciated.

With the elections over (Qaynat, why did you have to stand for the PlaceCom elections, they did you in...) and Prashant 'Pakow' Kaushik being the addition to the sTrEAM BACKWATERS above, and quite a few others expected to join in once our juniors arrive on campus, things are getting hot for Backwaters 2006. Given the team we have, this show is going to be the SHOW OF THE CENTURY.

As for Backwaters 2005, there have been so many whose efforts went unappreciated. I committed a farce when I first sent them mails saying (though it was said in jest...truly!) that though we can't promise t-shirts, we will try our best. I continued the farce when I made a Thanks list but waited for just too long to send it to enable someone else to send a generic thanks message to both the batches.

I don't really know how many of you would see this but if at all you are readin this, I just want to say Thank You and that had it not been for you guys (and for all others that I have missed, thereby committing my third farce), Backwaters 2005 would not have been possible.

Aaditya S
Roohafza, the BCA play
4L, the marketing game
Sponsorship

Abhijeet S
KonfuZION, the informals

Abhijit C
Brand Killing, the marketing paper
Sponsorship

Abhinav G
Sponsorship
Konsultant, the systems game

Aditya C
Online Games
4L, the marketing game

Amarpreet S
KonfuZION, the informals
Media Coverage
Movie Marathon

Amit D
Get RocKin!, the party

Amit M
Sponsorship
Mess coordination

Anirudh J
Konsultant, the systems game

Anshu P
Roohafza, the BCA play

Anudeep N
Opium, the operations game

Anuj M
Roohafza, the BCA play

Anupam KS
Opium, the operations game
Sponsorship

Anurag P
Online Games
4L, the marketing game
IT infrastructure

Archana V
Cultural Nite

Ashwarya S
Hospitality

Balpreet S
Media Coverage

Debojyoti G
Online Games

Deepak M
Hospitality
Paper presentations

Deepak N
Web Site Development

Devroop D
Publicity

Dhananjay M
Roohafza, the BCA play

Dheeraj B
Sponsorship

Divya I
Registration Desk
Cultural Nite

Gaurav V
Roohafza, the BCA play

Harish V
Online Games
Opium, the operations game

Harsh B
Pitbulls, the finance game

Hemant K
Online Games
Roohafza, the BCA play

Jasleen K
Paper presentations

Jaspreet C
Ten Little Indians, the play

Jena P
Tent & stalls
coordination

Kalyan A
Music Concert

Kanav RK
Auditorium Coordination
Ten Little Indians, the play
Hospitality

Karan B
Media Coverage

Karan S
Roohafza, the BCA play
Sponsorship

Kaushik S
Web Site Development

KNS Srinivas
Online Games
Roohafza, the BCA play

Kulasekhar P
Online Games

Kunal B
Brand Killing, the marketing paper

Lijo JM
Sponsorship
Tent & Stalls Coordination

Manish M
Roohafza, the BCA play

Mayank MA
Online Games
4L, the marketing game

Neel K
Roohafza, the BCA play
4L, the marketing game

Neeta S
Ten Little Indians, the play
T-shirts

Nikhil K
4L, the marketing game
Paper Presentations

Pavan V
4L, the marketing game
Paper Presentations

Pawan P
Sponsorship

Prajakt ND
Hospitality

Pralay KC
Paper Presentations

Puneet P
Ten Little Indians, the play

Rajat K
Roohafza, the BCA play
Sponsorship

Sangita N
Cultural Nite

Sathish VM
Sinking Dollar, the finance paper

Shweta N
Cultural Nite

Sreekanth V
Roohafza, the BCA play

Sundesh SS
Hospitality
Movie Marathon

Tushar C
Roohafza, the BCA play

Nilanjan K
Online Games
Video Coverage

Nitin M
Kautilya, the strategy game
Publicity

Pankhuri J
Roohafza, the BCA play
Music Concert

Pavithra BP
Ten Little Indians, the play
Sponsorship

Pranay HR
Flash Animation
Publicity

Prashant D
Roohafza, the BCA play

Prashant J
Web Site Development

Prashant JK
Online Games
Ten Little Indians, the play
KonfuZION, the informals
Music Concert
Sponsorships

Prashant K
Audio Coordination
Music Concert

Praveen T
Cultural Nite

Priya TS
Media Coverage

R Viswanathan
Konsultant, the systems game

Rahul R
Sinking Dollar, the finance paper

Rahul RA
Get RocKin!, the party

Raul S
Sponsorship

Ravi G
Online Games
Hospitality
Sponsorship
Tent & stalls coordination

Reuben A
Get RocKin!, the party

Richard D
Web Site Development
MBT Live Case Study

Rohit B
Events Coordination

Rohit G
Sponsorship
Publicity

Sandeep G
Cultural Nite

Sharika M
Auditorium Coordination
Sinking dollar, the finance paper

Shounak R
Ten Little Indians, the play
Kautilya, the strategy game

Siddharth RS
Roohafza, the BCA play

Sivaranjani
T-shirts

Srijenani S
T-shirts

Surabhi BP
Online Games
Sponsorship

Suryanarayanan
Ten Little Indians, the play

Swapna S
Ten Little Indians, the play

Tarun S
Web Site Development

Tity ML
Registration Desk

Vidhyut S
Ten Little Indians, the play
Kautilya, the strategy game

Vijay VR
Konsultant, the systems game
Integrated Outsourcing, the systems paper
Media Coverage

Vikram J
Kautilya, the strategy game

Vinay M
Mess coordination

Vipul P
Roohafza, the BCA play

Vishak JH
Web Site Development
Online Games

Saurabh S
Kautliya, the strategy game

Yash S
Cultural Nite

Real fiction or fictitous reality

tumhe samajh me nahi aaya hoga
wo tumhaare bina jee nahi sakega
kyunki main likh chuka hoon...

Indian film making industry has been making advances by leaps and bounds and Shabd is no exception. Infact, the very different nature of the movie's theme and the fact that it was handled in a decent enough manner speaks volumes of the conviction with which the movie was made. However, the fact of the matter still remains that the audience for which the new age Indian film makers churn out their novel ideas have not really arrived yet. We still look forward to the masala three-songs-four-dances-five-fight-sequences-six-tear-jerking-scenes movie. Entertainment has been so restrained and stereotypical so far that it is pretty difficult to break the mould. Shabd, however, is an honest attempt at that.

Shaukat Vishishtha is a celebrated writer who takes his work very seriously and is almost psychotic about it. He goes into a frenzy when his last book is rejected by the critics and the readers as being too detached from reality and reeking of inexperience. Shaukat takes this to heart and two years after his failure, starts writing another story. This time, he wants his story to be as real as possible and for this, he needs the help of his wife, Antara who loves him unconditionally and with all good faith.

Another character that gets introduced into this reality influenced story (which fast turns into a story influenced reality) is Yash, a professor of photography and a colleague of Antara. Shaukat encourages Antara to let Yash get close to her and let go of her inhibitions as far as her relations with Yash are concerned. Story gets woven into reality and soon enough, the two get so intertwined that it becomes difficult for Shaukat, the writer to control or even appreciate the problems of Shaukat, the husband.

The story and direction by debutante Leena Yadav are good, especially the shooting of sequences where the protagonist of Shaukat's story is shown in black and white. With the cinematography tastefully done (reminded me of Moksha), and the characters flowing with the imagination of the novelist, the sequences are good but one-too-many perhaps for the general audience. Initially, Shaukat's remonstrations with himself and his conversations with his characters seem appealing but as the story progresses, these things turn out to be rather an overkill.

However, the screenplay's pace notwithstanding, some of the dialogues of the movie are worth listening to twice for their sheer poetry, if not for anything else. The songs are on the right side of the average and the music soothing to the ears. The lyrics, like the dialogues, are great but somehow despite all this, the songs fail to capture viewers' attention, probably because of their incorrect positioning in the story line and their not so strong picturisation (apart from the first song shot on Sanjay Dutt and Aishwarya which is mind blowing).

The actors have played their role to the tee...well, all of them except perhaps Zayed Khan. He is wasted in this role or perhaps the role has been wasted on him. A more accomplished actor would certainly have given another dimension to the character and the movie. Sanjay Dutt, despite his gait which always conveys his murderous tendencies, is a class act and impresses with his laugh-cry acting display. Even the character artists (the servants at Sanjay and Aishwarya's house) are good and engage in some lively and well acted out sequences.

And above all...if looks could kill, there would have been corpses-a-plenty at the cimena theatres...and all this just because of Aishwarya Rai. The lady really kills with her beauty, style, and grace in this movie, especially in the black and white sequences (reminds you a lot of the Nakshatra Ad campaign) where she just fills up the entire screen with her persona and the viewer is held spellbound, staring open-mouthed at the screen, trying to grasp and hold as much of beauty as possible and yet letting it go...not being able to prevent it from slipping away.

I will fail in my duties as a critic if I don't say anything about her acting skills but not having noticed much apart from her lovely eyes, I can just say that she was adequate for the role...nothing too great but then again, not bad either.

The moral of the entire story of this movie is that life and reality are as different from each other as they are alike and probably that is true for the movie too. Shabd, like any David Dhawan movie, is far from what reality is, but it is as different from a David Dhawan movie as is water from fire. However, to really appreciate the movie, you probably need the same mindset, as required for a David Dhawan movie, of letting things go without really rationalising the issues and instead of using a magnifying glass over the sequences and story line, be more appreciative of the effort put in by the film crew and the actors.

Is it the end...or the beginning?

If they ever tell my story
Let them say
that I walked with giants
IIM Kozhikode
Backwaters 2005
i was there!

Two days of frantic activity preceded by three weeks of hope-despair, action-inaction, love-hate, brightness-gloom, success-failure, evolution-apocalypse...Backwaters 2005 has come and gone and left me all drained. There was a time when we had been thinking of scrapping the event altogether and there is now, when we can't help gloating over the congratulatory mails coming in from different quarters about the professionalism of it all.

If some one asks me, I will have a different opinion about it probably because I saw it from such close quarters. My own personal involvement in Backwaters began only this January after the term break. Before that, I had firmly decided to be just a bystander and let things take their own course. I was not feeling a part of the process at all and the enthusiasm with which I had joined the committee was lost truly and completely...partly because of some misunderstandings...partly because the job was being done in a way I am not accustomed to. After the term break, the other feeling somehow caught on and seeing Vikhyat, Reddy, et al really willing to put in effort, and considering the team dynamics for the next year's festival, I thought it prudent to be a part of things as much as I could, without sacrificing my own ideals and beliefs on the altar of the fest.

It was difficult, no doubt and we did fail in a lot of things. As I wrote in my previous post, we may have been able to end the fest in some semblance of style, after all but the way I see it...we have failed in meeting our own expectations...No Yana Gupta...no Singaporean participants...no super-grand performances...no slew of participating teams...so much more to be desired...so much more to be accomplished.

The first day of Backwaters 2005 was full of nightmarish thoughts for the team...the logistics were amazingly complex and the experience in handling them very little. I must say that Reddy and Ravi (I owe you one for this) did a brilliant job with it and had it not been for the work they put in by arranging the hostel, the mattresses, going out to receive participants, helping them settle in, it would have been absolutely impossible to take even the first step. There were issues despite all this effort and I must thank faculty from a particular business school for it...they did try their best to make our nightmares come true.

With the hospitality settled, the registrations desk started operating at 8 in the morning of January 29th, 2005. I tried to help Nireeksha till the C-hostel help in the form of Tity and Divya arrived. In the meanwhile, Kanav and Sharika were doing a great job, decking up the auditorium for the first of the formal events, the paper presentations. For the informals, the start was absolutely inauspicious and it was then that I realized that this was going to be one frontier where we were going to fail...and that is what happened. Right till the very end of the fest, we could not have a proper informal game and in the end, had to settle with only 4 games instead of the ten we had originally planned. The body art was fun, though (probably because I won :)).

The formal events went like a song throughout the two days and had absolutely no issues, thanks to Kanav and Sharika and to the event coordinators in Rahul, VV, Kunal, Abhijit, and so many others. As for the games, they were truly amongst the most innovative of the few that I have seen in management fests in different B-schools. The markeing and strategy games went on for two full days and it goes to the credit of the 4L and the Kautilya team that they were actually able to grab the attention of participants for so long. The Ops game was a huge hit as well. I don't know what Prof Haug gave Anudeep and team and what they finally made out of it...what I do know is a team asking me if they could have a look at how the game was designed as they were so impressed by it. The systems game by AbaKus and the finance game by Biyani proved their own mettle with teams actually letting go of fun events like informals to participate in these games.

The highlight of the festival, however, turned out to be the cultural nites that we had planned. From a stage where we did not know if we will have even one performance and were thinking of stop gap arrangements, we turned around to a time where the stop gaps actually became the stars of the show. With an excellent play by PGP1, a fun riot by PGP2, and some entertaining displays of talent by both the batches, the cul nite was amazing, to say the least. Pt. Vishwa Mohan Bhatt, despite all apprehensions, proved himself worthy of my trust. The day I asked Prashant to try to get him here, I knew that people will be skeptical about an artist they haven't really heard of...but then again, having listened to Pt. Bhatt play at BHU, I knew that his will be a popular and memorable performance.

As for the Ten Little Indians, what else can I say but that all you guys have done a great job and deserve a treat at the Taj (only if I could afford it :)). With Qaynat, the producer, making life difficult for the actors...Jaspreet and Pakow, the directors making people sweat over the finest of details...Neeta, Jaspreet and Pakow giving the desi touch to the script and even putting in the local masala...Jaspreet trying to fulfill his movie making ambitions and coming out with some mind-boggling graphics...and above all, the award winning performances of the cast (especially Shounak, Kanav and Neeta)...all these and much more went into making the play into what it came out as. When we were starting out with the concept of the play and having those initial discussions about what to do and how to go about doing it, I just had this idea that the play should not be a mere story telling, but more of a display of theatrical talent that we have, for all those who come to Backwaters...and by God, what superb talent have you guys displayed!

There are so many things that are still pending. There is this small matter of settling the bills, and trying to find out how much are we falling short by and doing something about it. I am sure that it is not going to be huge...given the hard work that Vikhyat has put in, in trying to hold the finances and accounting together. And then there is this thing of sending the reimbursement and prize money to participants from other colleges and of course, to our own prize winners.

There is so much more to write about , apart from this rather journalistic account of what happened. Probably in a later post, I would love to write about sTrEAM BACKWATERS, the team that made it all happen and about how I fit into the team or how I didn't...my own personal disagreements, my own assimilation into the team and how we took it on, sometimes united...sometimes not too much on the same side.