A long vacation

A vacation of almost three weeks in Kerala is almost invariably associated with the image of backwaters, hills and lakes, house boats languishing in still waters, as if for eternity, snake boats famous on account of the race standing still or breezing past in all their glory, the beaches that are more pristine and yet less commercial than what the most exotic ones can claim to be. My vacation, however, was of a different variety. I spent three weeks at Thodupuzha, a small but busy town situated about 60 kms from Cochin right at the foothills of the Idukki district's ranges. Amongst a few other things, Thodupuzha is known for some Ayurvedic hospitals and treatment clinics that use the herbs grown in Kerala's hills, mix them with the hundreds of kinds of oils they have gained expertise on, and treat the most chronic of ailments with such efficiency as is rarely seen in any other contemporary form of medicine.

Having heard about this form of therapy from a number of people and after my Mama had showed my nerve damage reports to one of the doctors at the Dhanwanthari Vaidyasala at Thodupuzha, I decided to give this a try. Taking the train to Cochin was a nice change from the short and sweet flights that I have got used to recently. The 27 hour journey was a great way to catch up with sleep, conversations with my sister (who accompanied me for a couple of days at the hospital before getting back to Mumbai and work), and of course with a lot of reading that I had been postponing for so long.

The treatment started on the first day itself, the 16th of August with some mild massages and pouring of warm oil on the affected area. The medicines were not really appealing to the taste buds but tolerable. What was not tolerable, however, was the food that I had to compulsorily eat because I was not allowed to go out of the campus of the Vaidyasala for the time of treatment and because there was no outside food that I could consume. The food was not even passable at times, with rice grains as big as peas, rice water served at dinner with salt and nothing else, puttu (a Kerala dish) served without any chutney, you almost choking on it unless passed down the throat with the help of some milk or water.

As days progressed, treatment became more complex and the masseur really gave it a go with some exotic oils, some strong massages, even some paste of cooked rice that felt really sticky and sick when applied over my entire body, and of course some increasingly sour medicines. Finally, when it was time to go, there was already some slight improvement in my condition with toes showing some movement in the affected foot. Of course, the problem is much more complex and slight twiddling of the toes is not going to be the end of my woes but at least it is a beginning. With the doctor so confident that it will take a maximum of 3 months for complete recovery, I am hopeful.

I have been advised as much rest as possible for about 2 weeks after treatment but with so much pending at work, I don't think that mental rest is an option but physically I can try my best to exercise my feet as little as possible.

One more time

It is time to give it another shot, take another chance and this time, do it with some faith and belief in the possibility of it working out after all. I am off to Kerala (to Thodupuzha, a place about 60 kms off Cochin) for the treatment of my peroneal nerve, and I am off for a good 20 days (a source of some envy at office, I am sure). For those who have been coming to this space over the last year, they would be undoubtedly aware of my condition which I keep bringing out in each of my posts in one way or the other (not that I can't help it but somehow, it does come out, what with it enjoying some tremendous top of mind recall).

This treatment is a combination of the immensely popular oil massage therapy of Kerala and herbal and Ayurvedic medicines that have been part of almost all Indian treat-at-home prescriptions. With the pedigree well established, the only question remaining is if it will be good enough for my ailment which has been given up on by all and sundry medical practitioners so far. They all start out with the claim of solving this issue but that is only till the time the fees is paid. As soon as the proverbial signature is made, unwavering belief in the treatment's efficacy changes to an unexplained skepticism on life's uncertainties. From "this will definitely cure you" to "no one can guarantee anything" takes but just one signature and one swipe on the card machine.

All I am hoping this time is that things are not the same as they have been for the last one and a half years that I have been grappling with this problem. Well, grappling is perhaps not the right word because given the enormous amount of sadness in the world caused by enormous amount of problems, my sadness and my problem is not even a small fraction of the scary possibilities that are there. I have been able to stand on my feet, walk if not run, and overall carry myself pretty properly after all. The limp is all that remains and of course, the fear that if things do not improve, they may after all degrade to something much worse.

In fact, the reason why I am so worried about the alarming frequency with which the different forms of treatment are proving ineffective is only this. I am fine with things continuing the way they are, considering them parts of my destiny and learning to live with my condition in the best possible manner. What I think I can not handle, however, is if things get worse and the good fortune that I have been blessed with by The Almighty ceases to exist.

Here's to hope, and to Kerala!

Exploiting Market Imperfections and a visit to the scientist

I have been wanting to write on so many things over the past week or so but now that I finally sit to write, I can't recollect anything at all. Hopefully, now that I have started to roll, things will come back to me as I keep on writing and deliberating and moving ahead thus. So, before the first of these topics hit me, let me place it on record here on this blog that I am not that disappointed with Mumbai. In terms of roads, green cover and infrastructure, in general, the city obviously does not show even a light to the grandeur of say, a Delhi. However, in all other respects, it is not too bad. The work culture is professional enough (not to say that it is in any way much better than Delhi), people smile here, too and at times, also have time to exchange pleasantries. Taxi drivers are a pleasant lot and generally tend not to cheat you off your last penny (though the same can not be said of the auto rickshaw drivers at all). Traffic is bad but coming from the congested NH-24 in Delhi, that does not seem too much of a bother either. Trains, of course, are bloody efficient even though they are perenially crowded, smelly and sweaty.

Speaking of smelly and sweaty, it reminds me of last Saturday, at the end of which, I was in a pretty bad shape myself, thanks to some fair bit of travel across the city during the hot and humid afternoon in open taxis and autos. Starting off the day was the memorable trip to meet a SCIENTIST which happens to be one of the things that I have been wanting to write about. The trip was based on an interview on national television done with a certain scientist who has been credited with treating some supposedly incurable diseases through his herbal medicines. My Mama had seen this interview and wanted me to see this person for my nerve problem (a fallout of the accident I had last year). So it was that Priya and I reached this scientist's place in Versova on this hot Saturday afternoon. In the last few minutes of his sitting time, the scientist heard me out, barely trying to stifle his yawn while telling me at the same time that I should start the medicine and that the medicine will cure me totally. To top it all, this was done without even glancing at a single report of a single test conducted for this problem of mine. So much for the science part! All this was still ok till the time I was told that there was only one medicine that he provides for all ailments, whether it is cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, paralysis, or a nerve disorder like mine. To assume that this one-stop-shop for treatment of ailments will turn out to be better than all the specialised treatments that I have considered and decided against because of their inefficacy, was a long call to take. But I did take this call alongwith Priya and my Mama, and for all my so called education, I can not but hope for a miracle from this exceedingly highly priced herbal medicine (15 doses for a freaking 15 grand).

The incident I described above does not conform to any of my thoughts about such things and yet, I acted in this non-conformist manner. To claim that I did this only to please my family members would be a lie to myself since at some corner of my brain, I wanted to believe in this treatment, however fantastic it seemed. Having all but lost hope from so many other 'scientific' quarters, and almost designated to lead a life with this disorder as a permanent part of my being, I reached out to this ray of hope, however bleak it may be. Doesn't it show somewhere that despite all the rational thinking that we are capable of, faith comes out the stronger in cases where logic and reason are not fast enough in their action?

On the work front, things are turning out to be quite a haze, what with me having to dip my hand in almost everything that presents itself for dipping hands into. I will try and write about all that I do in some other post but for now wish to share with my readers something of a management insight that I gleaned from one of the senior management meetings that I had the good fortune to be a part of. This meeting was called to discuss a new vertical that the company is going to launch and was aimed at kick starting the design of the operational and marketing framework for the new business. While discussing some operational aspect, a senior member remarked how and why we should not try to be perfect in all that we do. His logic was that there were imperfections in the market and the intelligent player is one who exploits these imperfections till he can and at the same time, is the first to find out when those imperfections are starting to get corrected. This is when the intelligent player makes the switch from playing to an imperfect market (and making his moolah while he does so) to initiating and setting up a perfect setup for a market that is fast on its way to removing its imperfections.

A perfect example was ICICI Bank, India's largest private sector bank, which chose to play along with other credit card companies in charging annual and joining fees for credit cards till the game was there and available in the market. However, as soon as the bank realized that this was a temporary phenomenon that was about to go and that the customers were very soon going to be very demanding, they decided to act as destroyers in the market and pioneered the concept of Free-for-life credit cards. They had the last laugh since not only did they lap up the revenues till they were there for the taking, but once they realized things were changing, they were proactive enough to build a large market share by removing the market imperfections faster than the market itself would have been able to manage.

Needless to say, I was quite impressed by this line of thinking and though this does not reflect too well on the Indian markets and the players involved, it still is a very practical strategy. It still leaves the question, however, that if everyone tries to exploit the imperfections, doesn't it tantamount to the market and the customer always remaining imperfect, with no body breaking the shackles? In reality, however, this does not happen and the efficient market hypothesis takes over at some stage or the other and the trick is to be able to predict this point of inversion.

Lull after the storm

Things had been pretty topsy-turvy over the last few months, what with the accident, recovery, joining work after such a big sabbatical, and many other things associated with the same. However, once things started getting back on track, there has been a sort of calm and dull cover enveloping the daily proceedings. In a nutshell, life goes by, currently, at an even pace without much to force the ripple, so to say, in the still waters.

I have been watching a lot of movies again, after a long hiatus caused, initially by the accident and later due to sheer intertia. The inertia was broken by Harry Potter's latest (a fitting movie to break the fast, I think) and though the frequency of at least a movie a week did not return till much later, I am happy that I do not need to think twice any more for something as mundane (as far as the decision making goes, at least).

As for the aftermath of the injury, things have begun to get back on track and my collar-bone, hip-bone, and the hip-joint seem to be functioning properly. The only thing that had me on my tenterhooks even earlier and which is still causing much irritation, even a bit of anguish is my sciatic nerve. For the technically challenged, let it suffice for me to mention that my right foot no longer acknowledges or follows my brain's commands. If it still went over your head, let me submit that I can't operate my right ankle as well as I can my left one.

Though the problem may not seem to be that big an issue, given what I have come out of, but the enormity of the problem is in its being so small and apparently inconsequential. Since I can't operate the ankle, my right foot drops when I walk which prevents me from being sure of my step, ever. Added to it, there is always this feeling of discomfort running right from my toes to my ankle that never allows me to concentrate on anything totally, reminding me time and again that I am not normal, may not be normal for quite some time, perhaps never.

I know that I am cribbing a lot but deep within me, I know that I have been lucky that God has given me an option to stand on my feet again, live my life with respect for my own self. At least, I am not physically, mentally or financially dependent on anyone. Even if I am never going to be absolutely fine and even if that is going to create and leave long lasting scars in my personal life, at least I will have a life.

As for other stuff, I have been living my life at my own terms and have become all the more mature for recent events that I have been associated with. People have been leaving the company in droves and even though the emoluments they shall be receiving sound immensely attractive, it still doesn't make me ponder too much. I was able to meet my friends in Bombay at the closing of last year and realized that it is so very difficult to be doing what you really like to, not to say that I am even close to the same.

Well, till the next time, I think that the above shall have to be it. So see you again pretty soon...ciao!

Am I back or what???

Over the period that I have been absent from this space, I have been dead and re-born so many number of times that I have absolutely lost count. I never thought that I will be writing about all this but given the amount of time that I have at my disposal and given the fact that I can't make better use of this time at office, here I am, ready to recount what has been the most memorable episode of my small life so far.

It all started with one of my friends' mother having passed away and my decision to visit him and his family in this bad time and offer whatever solace I could. After much dilly-dallying between the 6AM and 11AM flight, I finally booked the tickets for the early morning flight. Since it would have been too early to sleep and get up again, I just decided to give the good old bed a miss. It must have been the lack of sleep that convinced me that taking my car along would be a bad idea since I would have to pay a heavy parking fee. After much deliberation, I decided to take my flatmate's brother along on my bike so that he could get it back once I got off at the airport.

So far, the idea seemed to be pretty okay at the face of it but it soon turned into a nightmare. As I climbed up the long, curved South Extension flyover, I had no idea what waited for me at the other end of the flyover. As it turned out, it was a car standing right in the middle of the flyover without any lights or idicator, apparently doing nothing else but waiting for disaster to happen...and happen it did!

Since I couldn't possibly see the car before I had very closely approached its rear, I went ahead and did what anyone would have been forced to do, that is, dashed into the bloody car with applomb. A few hours later, I was lying on the bed at AIIMS Trauma Center with a borken hip and a broken shoulder, having been refused admission to AIIMS General Hospital, since mine was a special trauma case. Sounds big, doesn't it?

It was big, and it has been four and a half months since that fateful day, with two of those months spent in an unrelenting zero-movement posture on the hospital bed and another two and a half spent under the loving care of my parents at home. I managed to join work just day before yesterday and though still walking on crutches, things are looking up for me, finally. All the while I was at home recuperating, I had been thinking of writing a blog on the many things that had been going through my mind in the hospital. I had even thought of a number of titles for the post, the most kinky of them being "43 days of nakedness".

Somehow, with some complications like Peroneal Nerve Palsy and Avascular Necrosis (look them up on the net if you want, pretty scary things) creeping up, I could never get started on the post. It is only now that things are somewhat rosier and I have sat down for this writeup. I don't know when the next post is going to come because I am wiser now, having made one too many unrealized promises.

No longer a virgin

I have been violated. I have been opened, explored and penetrated. The experience, as I had heard earlier, was truly bitter sweet. There were times when it pleased me but all the same, there were moments when the pain was intense. The pleasure was intermingled with instances of awkward disturbance when all my innards protested against the invasion of my body. It was, after all, my first time with the dentist :-)

For the past three months, I have been having this tingling sensation at the back of my teeth set whenever I had anything cold. Ice-creams, cold drinks, et al were rapidly becoming unaffardable and the sword of tooth cavity was hanging precariously over my head. Since I had to come home anyway, I decided to give the neighborhood dentist shop one shot...luckily, the shot was worth it. There was no cavity in my teeth but only a little abnormality in the way my Wisdon Tooth had shaped up. It had turned up a little slanted and had actually lost touch with the gums, creating a gap that the dentists call the fourth pocket. This pocket had, in turn, been filled with foreign material which needed to be cleaned up for any relief from my condition.

As is true with any professional worth his salt, the dentist, despite assuring me that I had a set of wonderful teeth, advised professional cleaning to make sure that the teeth remain even close to wonderful. And that is what I had to undergo when it felt as if something external had overcome me and my body. The saliva-dripping, saliva-sucking pipe, the water spraying jet, the adhesive-fixing gun, the tongue-restraining God-knows-what...all of them moved freely inside my mouth and made merry as if it was their territory and I was just a minor inconvenience.

The long and short of it is that going to a dentist is okay as long as the dentist does not start any 'professional' stuff. As soon as he starts talking of that, let the warning bells start ringing and let the preparations begin for an orgy where the patient, that is you or me, is not even a mute spectator, but actually the much-punished victim.