The benches in the back *sigh*

The last time they made me sit on the first bench in class, I almost passed out. I have always been one of those typical back benchers throughout school, college, corporate training rooms and now in IIMK. For the back benchers, there is no need of any blog to tell them the merits of making their home where they choose to, but for all those souls who are ignorant of the multifarious opportunities provided by the back benches and for those poor sods who intentionally avoid the back benches for whatever reasons, here is an attempt to unravel the mystery. Before proceeding any further, however, I would like to acknowledge the source of inspiration for this attempt...none other than the back benches in the new class rooms at IIMK, which are built purely for the back benchers with chairs squeezed in to increase the class capaciy.

Today is the day when all your questions are going to be answered...there are going to be answers to the quizzical glances you always gave to the guy running in at the last minute (a side effect of being a back bencher) and heading straight to the last bench in a class hardly filled up to the third or fourth bench...there are going to be answers to all those times when you got frustrated because the teacher picked you to answer a question and not the back bencher snoring away to glory...even answers to the times when the back bencher was able to answer the question you couldn't despite snoring away to glory a moment ago.

The obvious difference that the back benches make is that of visibility. The absolute lack of it can be further accentuated by a certain shift in posture that only the back benchers are capable of (do come to me sometime if you want to learn the trick...I will try to help you with the best of my experience). This shift makes it virtually impossible for even the keenest of teachers to spot you and even if they do get some indication of your presence, the posture can be modified slightly to appear that you are the only student engrossed in whatever the teacher is saying and in your efforts to retain it all, you have gone into a scientific aasana.

Actually, it is all about perspective. The "global" perspective that a back bencher can gain from the class discussion is unmatched. Sitting at the very top (in case of sloping lecture halls like ours) or at the very back, in line with anything else but teacher's sight (as in schools with level floored classrooms), the back bencher enjoys the sound wave reflection that is unimaginable for anyone else. All the crap that gets around in the class room has to come and strike the back benches on their way to the rear wall of the class (don't ask me what the sound waves are doing near the rear wall) and thus have to come to the back bencher. This, here, is the answer to your pseduo intelligent back bencher you wanted to throw your book at for stealing your point and giving a detailed answer, leaving you with nothing else to speak on when the teacher caught you.

The overall personality development that a back bencher is capable of is unmatched, too. With novels, magazines, newspapers, and the like making the back benches their home (there have been so many occasions where I didn't even have the need to get a book along...it was already there under the desk, left by the previous informed inhabitant of the back benches), the back benches act as information highways. The journey on this highway, aided by the sound wave reflection make sure that the back bencher achieves much more than the ear-cocked-head-tilted first bencher.

There are so many other things that I can count as the advantages of being a back bencher but if you have not decided to attain salvation by now, then perhaps the devil owns you :-). Speaking of the devil and his followers who sit on benches other than the ones in the back, let me assure them that God sees everything in this world and He has given us back benchers a special power to get back at all of you. Of course, since I have that special power, I am not going to be naive enough to share it with you non-believers but for all those who want to belong, let me tell you my sisters and brethren, as Morpheus told Neo...unfortunately, no body can be told what the back bench experience is, you have to experience it to understand it.